"Hey Cabin Mom"

51 weeks is a long time to wait for something to occur. That’s how long most campers wait and anticipate their next Barnabas experience. With the exception of my 2 day Barn-a-break experience in October, that is also how long I had been eagerly anticipating returning to camp on May 31. My sister, Stacie, who also had a great experience, joined me this year; this reflection however, is my personal view of camp.

I was once again assigned as a cabin mom for a cabin of 9 girls. It was evident upon looking at the camper cards for our girls on the first night that I was in for a different experience than I had last year. It was almost as if all other campers had been placed in cabins and the ladies who were left were then thrown together into our cabin. While our campers were all in their twenties and early thirties, their mental ages ranged from 3-12. The group did not interact with each other most of the time and we had a few more campers who were not always interested in participating in the activities. All of the campers did enjoy themselves however. The weather was warmer this year and pool time was definitely a daily highlight. Other activities that were much loved were horseback riding, pet set (getting to visit the menagerie of animals that are kept at the barn), anything involving the costume closet, and café where they got to make pretzels. The campers also enjoyed the nightly parties, which included a messy “creation” night (paint fight, water fight, and food fight), a dinos versus cavemen game night, a pilgrims and Indians party (campfire, face painting, and crafts), and a night “dancing in the stars”.

Our group of 9 kept our combined 7 CIAs (volunteers) and 2 staff members on their toes. We had 2 in wheelchairs and 2 who were prone to wandering off at any time as well as our one camper with a mental age of around 3 that required close supervision. So you can get the best mental picture of our group, here is a bit more about each of the campers. Crystal was fairly quiet most of the time but had definitely warmed up to me at the end of the week. She was willing to participate in most of the activities but at certain times just wanted to sit down to rest. Sarah had a more exuberant personality. She has an enormous crush on one of the wranglers and proclaimed, “I love you” to him while we were at the horse barn. My favorite Sarah memory is the way she would say, “oh snap” in a fairly unemotional manner to anything that she really liked. Melissa was the social butterfly of the cabin but not in a particularly good way. Her 2 favorite questions to ask were “what cabin are you in?” and “what cabin was you in last year?” She would ask the same people over and over again even to the people she knew were in her cabin. Melissa also loved to hug people and shake their hands while telling them they were her friend. After a couple of days of this, even the other campers were starting to back away when they saw her coming. Melissa loved the slides at the pool and drug whomever was assigned to her along for as many trip down the slide as she could get in during pool time. I could write all day long about her and still not be able to give you the experience that Melissa truly is. Rachel loved to tell her family “story” to anyone who would listen. She was always telling about her brothers and sisters referring to them as “the basement sister,” “the good brother,” “the one who gets lunch money out of daddy’s wallet,” etc. She always had a prayer request about one of her siblings or some other random person such as her hairdresser. Each time Rachel knew she was going to be in bed, she would say “hey cabin mom, I bet you can’t find me when you wake me up in the morning (or after FOB)”. I always then had to find her and then, Buster and Francine (her stuffed animals) would have to find her. Jennifer was our only first time camper in our cabin. She was very enthusiastic in participating in all of the activities and quite the dancer when given the chance. Carrie was our camper with the lowest mental age and also our only non-verbal camper. Evidently Carrie is not always compliant with what you want her to do, but this year she was great to work with. She and Libby, her counselor, developed their own games such as pretending to whisper to each other, which would make Carrie crack, up. Dana was the only camper in our cabin that I knew previously as she had been in my cabin at Barn-a-break last fall. Dana is able to walk with great difficulty but spends most of her time in a wheelchair. She loves to participate in all of the activities and, when everyone else was sitting on the floor for devotions, she would lie down right in the middle of the group since sitting unsupported made her back hurt. Traci was our other camper who was in a wheelchair for the week however she normally walks and was only in the wheelchair because she had been having severe back pain. Traci was very quiet and seemed to use the wheelchair to isolate herself even though a person in a chair could perform all activities. Our final camper was Julie. Julie had worked with her counselor, Bethany, before and they had a very close relationship. My favorite Julie memory is when one of us would sing the opening bars to Shania Twain’s “I feel like a woman,” Julie would chime in with “let’s go girls” in a complete dead-pan. Julie also had a tendency to call everyone “woman” which is a habit that I picked up and recently caught myself using with a patient (oops!!). Most of my pictures with Julie in them show her with a completely annoyed look on her face but I believe that to be a complete act since she actually had a really good time at camp. They were definitely an interesting assortment of personalities.

Some favorite memories at camp include learning how hard it is to wash globs of oatmeal out of clothes after the food fight (not sure this is a “favorite”, but was definitely memorable). Melissa shrieking in my ear after seeing a picture of her horseback riding on my camera is also a memorable moment; I’m still not sure I have full hearing back in that ear. Watching Billy, another camper, interact with others is also a highlight. Billy doesn’t really talk but he still tries hard to communicate. He loves the ladies at camp and likes to take their hands and place them in the hand of his counselor. I heard Dustin, his counselor, say on the 3^rd day that he had met every female at camp at least once. Billy also gets a big kick out of “shooting” his counselor and Dustin always played along by pretending to die. One of the sweetest moments at camp occurred when Billy saw his mom in the dining hall at the closing ceremony; he cried out “mama” and went running to her.

A final favorite of camp leads me to what I learned at camp this year. As a cabin mom, I am not assigned to any one camper but help out with all of the campers in the cabin as needed. Since I float around, most of the campers do not make any great attempt to learn my name and I become “cabin mom.” I remember this happening some last year, but it seemed much more prevalent this year. At first, I was a little annoyed by what I perceived as the lack of attention to who I was as a person. As the week went by however, I began to remember the biblical teachings about dying to self. Camp Barnabas uses a rule that we put God first, others second, and ourselves third. This comes across in our serving of the campers at meals before we get food for ourselves or in the doing what the camper wants to do during free time even if you’d rather be doing something else. This putting God and others above ourselves is a way of dying to self. I wasn’t at camp to be “Julie,” I was there to be God’s hands to these campers as a cabin mom: someone who encouraged the campers, who helped them with fun activities, and someone who assisted them with their daily living activities such as dressing and eating. It can be so hard to remember that we are always called to be God’s hands and feet especially when your profession, as mine is, is one of serving others. Since returning form camp, I have struggled to remember that. When I am at work, everything that I do is about my patients and not about what I want or feel. I’m not saying this is an overwhelming struggle, but there are always patients who push the envelope and make it hard to put into practice. As the week went by at camp I realized that even though only a couple of the campers could tell you my name, they all saw me as a friend and someone who was there to help them, I relished the name of “cabin mom” especially on the last day when one of the campers who had never called me anything else wanted to hold my hand as we walked through camp. It is moments like these that make us realize that while we are called to put God and others before ourselves, God is there to support us and gives us these moments to let us see how we are touching those around us.

So that was my week at camp. It was a very different experience than last year but still one that I will treasure. It is having these great experiences that make me look forward to seeing the same group of campers each year and yet I also have a great desire to get to experience working with another group; namely the 2^nd term of kids who are physically disabled. You can look for a possible reflection on two weeks of camp next year. Until then, let the 51 week countdown begin.

Goals Acheived

Wow!! What a great experience. Back in August when I set a goal of walking the Go! St Louis Half Marathon, I had no idea what an impact it would have on my life. Walking that 13.1 miles and raising approximately $2600 for Camp Barnabas in the process has truly been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I must confess that, as race day came near, I was a little scared of what I had gotten myself into. I was plagued by knee and foot problems in the weeks leading up to the race but I was determined to try and accomplish my goal. Race day dawned bright and early since I was suppose to be downtown at 6:15. As a walker, I was relegated to the back of the pack and, from the time the race started until I actually crossed the starting line took 19 minutes. It was a beautiful day and my training helped keep me towards the front of the walkers and with a lot of the people who alternated between running and walking. The atmosphere along the course was great and I am so grateful to my parents who spent the morning catching me at various points along the course to cheer me on. Their support both in my doing the race and my fundraising for camp meant more than I will ever be able to express to them. My months of training paid off and, for most of the race, it didn't feel like work to me. That all changed around 11.5 miles when my thoughts began to run along the lines of how badly I wanted to sit down. I plugged on though and crossed the finish line 3 hours and 5 minutes after I started. What a high it was. As my friend Becky said last week, a monster has been created as I look towards future races to participate in. I am also working towards running some of these future races and started an app on my ipod this week called Couch to 5k that helps train you to be able to run. What I am looking forward to most at this point is returning to camp on May 31st for term 1. My sister, Stacie, has also been accepted as a CIA for that term, and I can't wait to share the camp experience with her. Look back here in mid-June for my thoughts on that week.

Busting Through the Line

We did it!!! My goal of $1300 has been exceeded and I still have a few donations pledged but not in hand (therefore not included in the total). I currently have $1592 collected and look for that number to approach $2000 by the time I send the donations in. The founders of camp already send their thanks for your willingness to contribute to this cause. I can't believe I'll be walking the half-marathon in under 3 weeks.

Today's picture is of Sarah and me before the Clue party which was a dance. Sarah had brought a dress for the evening, but decided she wanted to go as Colonel Mustard and found much of her outfit in the camp skit closet. Personally, I finally got to use a dress that I had purchased in college but never wore (and was thrilled that it still fit). The campers all had a great time dancing the night away. For those who did not want to dance, there was a table set up with crayons and paper from which I gained a piece of art done by Mama Sandy. Mama Sandy is the camp's oldest camper and has her birthday while at camp each year. She turned 64 (I think) last year while we were there!! Only 2 months and 1 week before I leave for camp this year. Can't wait!!

Thanks for everyone's continued support. Your generosity overwhelms me.

Almost There

I am completely overwhelmed by the response that I have gotten to my request for this cause. I currently have $1232 that you all have donated! My goal is just around the corner. I feel so blessed to call such generous people my friends and family. There is no doubt in my mind that when I post again I will have exceeded my goal.

Today's photo is of Dahna and me at the riding corral. Each of the campers had to practice reigning a "horse" before they got to ride. As you can see, I was Dahna's "horse". Dahna was my special camper during my week at Barnabas last summer. Even though, as a cabin mom, I was not assigned to any particular camper; Dahna latched onto me partway through the week. Luckily for me Sara, her counselor, did not mind sharing Dahna's wonderful personality. The last day of camp was made extra difficult by Dahna's tears and proclamation that she didn't want to leave me. It wasn't long before I was in tears too. I can't wait to see her smiling face again this summer.

My final thought for today is a request for prayers. Right after all of my donation request letters went in the mail 2 weeks ago, I began having pain in my left knee that is only there when I am doing my training walks. I took last week off hoping that it would help but that has not been the case. I am bound and determined to continue with this but am resigning myself to the fact that it may be at a much slower pace than I was planning. I continue to hope that it will resolve itself (with a little self imposed physical therapy) by April 11.

Until next week.

You Guys are Amazing!!

Wow!! One week ago I sent out almost 70 letters requesting sponsorship for this event and I have already received $560 in donations. To all of you who have already contributed, thank you. When I chose my target amount, I was a little skeptical as to whether I would hit it, but not any longer. Going to the mailbox when I get home each night is so much fun.

Today's picture is of Melanie, our boy-crazy drama queen showing off the flower pot that she painted for her mom in arts and crafts. She was so excited about it. The red and green ribbons around her neck are her special olympics medals that she wore most of the time. Melanie was quite a trip.

A final thought before I sign off for the week: my sister, Stacie, has applied to volunteer at camp this summer too. Please pray that she is accepted and that she has a wonderful experience that touches and moves her.

I'll continue updating on a regular basis. Thanks again for your support.

Thanks for viewing

Welcome to Barnabas Reflections, the site I've created to let people know about my amazing experiences at Camp Barnabas as well as track sponsorship donations for my walk in April. The picture above is of the campers in my cabin last summer during photo booth, a time where they could raid the camp costume closet and pose for photos. Don't ask me why they chose the Christmas backdrop when it was June. They really enjoyed getting to dress up both then and during our drama time later in the week when we held our own fashion show. Below is my reflection on that week which I wrote soon after returning from camp. Check back as I update the site when contributions start coming in.

Adult Friends Week 2009

Do you know what it’s like to be almost instantly loved unconditionally by someone other than your parents or God? I was blessed enough to experience this kind of love last summer during an amazing week at Camp Barnabas. Barnabas is a Christian camp for disabled kids and adults where each week in the summer caters to a different demographic: kids with physical disabilities, adults with developmental disabilities (mental retardation), kids who are visually or hearing impaired, etc. After spending an amazing week there, I came away wanting to share the story of what lead me to camp and what I got to experience while I was there.

My voyage to camp began in April of 2008 on a Sunday night as I was watching Extreme Home Makeover. On that show they were renovating the home of a family who was involved with Camp Smile, a camp for kids with cerebral palsy. They also went to the camp and did some work there. As I watched the show, I felt pulled to become part of that type of camp experience. I am lucky enough to know my strengths in life and I knew that I possessed many of the strengths that it would take to work in that type of setting. Before the evening was over, I was online looking up camps for people with disabilities. I found the website for Camp Barnabas and was thrilled to see that it was located near Springfield, MO and only 4.5 hours from me. I made the decision almost immediately that I would apply to be a volunteer for 2009. This meant that I would not be going with our church’s Sr High youth on their mission trip as I had done for the previous 2 years and was scheduled to do that summer. This was not a decision I made lightly, but I truly felt I was being called to Barnabas. I began stalking the website later in the summer and when the application went up in November, I had it in the mail within 2 days. I received my acceptance letter in early December and was so excited I almost cried. I had been put in my first choice of weeks, which was Term 1, Adult Friends Week. This week caters to adults who have developmental disabilities. I then had the long wait until May 31 when I was to arrive at camp. I also had not been told what position I had been accepted for but decided that it didn’t matter; I was going to do whatever was needed of me.

On Sunday, May 31, I loaded my car and set off for Barnabas. As I drove I grew nervous. Was I arriving on the correct day? At the right time? I knew no one, which is not a situation I enjoy being in. After a slight detour (aka I made a wrong turn) I arrived at the gates of camp. I was greeted along the driveway by groups of young adults cheering and pointing the way to where I should go. I parked and went in to register. I was told I was assigned to cabin G2 as a cabin mom and that I would be sleeping in a room under the dining hall. I lugged my stuff to my room and met 2 of my 3 roommates who were there chaperoning a group of youth from Baton Rouge. Barnabas uses 1800 volunteers a summer and most of them are part of youth groups who use this as their mission trip. The youth act as counselors (if they are over 16) for the campers or barnstormers (14 and 15 year olds) who do the scut work such as serve meals, clean bathrooms, etc. Most of the chaperones are cabin moms and dads who act as an extra set of hands in their cabin and also get the joy of doing multiple loads of laundry during the week when campers have “accidents”. Fewer of the volunteers, like myself, are there as individuals. At 5 pm we met in our cabin families and got a tour of camp before we headed to dinner. After dinner we went to our cabin where we were given the information about the 10 campers who would be in our cabin for the week. Our cabin had 2 staff members (college students who were working there for the summer), Macy and Heidi, plus 5 counselors. The counselors were to each choose 2 campers who they would be responsible for during the week. During many of the other weeks, there is a one-to-one ratio, but for the group we would be working with, this wasn’t necessary. After this time, all of the volunteers and staff headed to the tennis courts where we were encouraged to lie down and watch the stars come out while praying about the week that was to come. It was a time to truly gather ourselves and what I didn’t realize was that it was one of the last peaceful moments I would have for the next week. After a reflection time with my cabin family, I was headed for bed.

The next morning and early afternoon was spent in training sessions to prepare us for how to work with the campers; we learned about various diagnoses and how to assist with bathing, dressing, toileting, etc. We also learned about the rules of camp. At 3:45, we were all lined up along the driveway of camp ready to greet the campers as they arrived at 4. For an hour we cheered, danced, and clapped as the campers were unloaded from their parents’ cars and announced one by one. I honestly don’t know when the last time I had yelled and cheered so much was. The campers were, for the most part, ecstatic to be there. Most of them were returning campers, some who had been coming for up to 20 years. After getting our girls moved into the cabin, it was time to get ready for dinner and that night’s party. Each night of camp has a party with a theme for which many of the campers bring costumes. Our first party theme was Candyland and let’s just say M&Ms abounded. After the party the evening ended with Wrap-up where we sang worship songs and heard a brief message. It was then back to the cabin to help get the campers ready for bed, have a cabin family meeting and then go to bed.

The next day began what would become our regular routine for the next 6 days. I arrived at the cabin at 7 to help get the campers ready for the day and then we headed to Inspiration Point (IP) for silly camp songs (I’m giving command performances of the Milk Song and Kool-Aid song upon request) and an inspirational message. We then headed to breakfast and then back to the cabin for clean up and devotions. We spent the week studying the parable of the sower from Matthew. While there were many good things that came out of devotion, it isn’t always easy keeping 10 adults with an average mental age of 11 on task. We would then head off for our first two activities of the day. Activities included canoeing, fishing (I baited hooks with worms for the first time, euw), parachute, archery, rifles, music, and horseback riding among many others. After 2 activities it was time for lunch and then FOB (flat on bunk or naptime). This was my one break of the day. After FOB we had our 3^rd activity and then cabin free time, which was when the pool was open. After free time it was time for showers for the campers and getting ready for the party. The rest of the evening from there was the same as the first night with campers. Other party themes included Cranium (nerd costumes), Oregon Trail (western wear), and Clue (fancy dress). Often our cabin family meetings would last until 11:30 and I was falling into bed at midnight.

The last night of camp was Cross Carry. On this night, all of the cabins line the main path of camp and a five-foot cross is passed from one cabin to the next. On this cross are plaques bearing the names of any former camper who has passed away. Each cabin receives the cross, prays over it, and passes it to the next group. There are a lot of emotions tied to this ceremony and, before the cross reached our group, you could hear wailing coming from the groups before us.

The following morning we went to IP, had breakfast and then returned to the cabin to wait for the parents to arrive. Before leaving, we all gathered back in the dining hall to watch a video that had been shot during the week and then we were finished.

Telling you about camp would not be complete without some information about our campers. Sarah was one of our most loving campers. She would cling to whichever of the volunteers or staff was closest and often told us she loved us. She was definitely the most seeking of approval. Julia was one of our quietest campers and loves High School Musical sporting a HSM watch each day and using a hair brush with Zach Effron on the back. Laura and Yvette were our “Bell Girls”. They share the same last name and have known each other since preschool. One rarely was seen without the other and it was not uncommon to see them holding hands as they walked around camp. Both were fairly quiet but Yvette had a laugh that was great to hear. Whenever she would start laughing, Laura would immediately ask “Yvette Bell; why are you laughing, Yvette?” Yvette never felt the need to answer. Dahna had an understated sense of humor and would often make comments that, if you caught them, would crack you up. Brittany was our youngest camper and was very eager with most things. She was also our biggest thrower of tantrums usually revolving around what she was not allowed to eat due to her diabetes. Elaina has a very sweet spirit but can also be very flirty. She was our slowpoke in all she did. Martha was our one camper who didn’t really want to be there and spent much of her time coloring in the coloring books that she carried with her at all times. She did love to dance though and amazed us by dancing along with a drama group that came to perform in a way that made it seem as if she had rehearsed with them. Tiffany was our prankster whose pranks involved sticking a crumpled piece of clean toilet paper in your bed when you weren’t looking. Melanie was our drama queen. Everything was either “primo perfect” or she was pouting over some perceived injustice. She was also our most boy crazy with 2-3 boyfriends plus Chris, another camper who was “the one”. These little snippets don’t do true justice to who they truly are but it gives you an insight into the personalities that made up our group.

Some highlights of camp for me include going down the waterslide with Dahna and Elizabeth (one of the counselors) into the freezing cold pool, praying with Tiffany for courage so she could ride the horse and then her conquering her fear, watching the girls dance to MmmBop at the talent show, and rolling with laughter each night with the staff and other volunteers in our cabin over the various incidents of the day (most were always funnier a few hours after they had occurred).

All through the week, I pondered on the purpose of me being at camp. Yes, I was able to be helpful and I feel I left an impression on the campers in my cabin (as evidenced by Dahna’s tears and proclamation that she didn’t want to “leave Julie”) but I felt that I was there to learn something too. What amazed me about all of the campers was how they all lacked the repression of self that is part of most people’s everyday existence. They truly live the quote “Dance like no one’s watching, sing like no one’s listening, and love like you’ve never been hurt.” If music came on that they liked, they danced (evidenced well by my video of the talent show), if presented with a microphone, they sang and it never occurred to them that they may not be on key or they may have sang the same song 10 times already that week, and above all, they loved and did not hesitate to tell you so. The volunteers and staff in our cabin discussed this and all lamented how different the “real world” is, both in our fear of being judged and in the actual occurrence of the judging. There at camp however, we all found ourselves acting more like our campers. I danced and didn’t care who saw me (and was told by a camper that I was “crazy”), I prayed one on one with my campers and didn’t worry that I would sound silly, and I loved on the campers every chance I got. My best description of the experience is that it was freeing. I would love to say that, now that I have returned to the “real world”, I have continued to live this way but I’m back to a world where, if you dance to any music you hear, you will likely get some weird stares. I would like to think that I am a little freer and that maybe, when I return to camp, more of that freeness will stick. Overall, I can only describe the whole experience as amazing and one that I hope to have again in future years.